Rick Santorum And The Future Of Internet Porn

If Rick Santorum is elected President, Internet porn as we know could bite the big one. Uptight conservatives everywhere are rejoicing because Rick the Dick plans on taking major actions to ban sites that specialize in sex movies. Orgasm.com will cease to exist! You’ll have to jack-off from memory. Who wants to do that?

In a statement posted on his website, Santorum said the Obama administration has turned a blind eye to those who wish to preserve our culture and guard it from obscenities (or something equally Republican and ridiculous). He went on and on about obscenity laws and how we need to protect our children from porn. You know how you keep your kids from watching porn? Put a password on your computer, add parental controls etc. It’s not rocket science. Porn is every American’s god given right once they turn 18.

Imagine you log onto your computer hoping to see some gorgeous sex videos featuring Silvia Saint and you can’t find any.  That’s what’ll happen if Rick Santorum the Scrotum gets elected. He made a promise to vigorously enforce laws that prohibit the distribution of hardcore material such as porn films and XXX photographs. That means you’ll check into a hotel room and you’ll have to watch some dumb romantic comedy instead of pornography. Who wants to live in a world where all things XXX are outlawed?

Although this may seemed far-fetched, vanquishing Internet porn could be a possibility. The US government can shut down any site it feels is obscene. Orgasm.com suggests watching as much porn as you can right now, because if Rick Santorum gets elected we won’t have any XXX materials at our disposal.

Why are you still here? Go watch porn. Increase your fappable mind before it’s too late! And please, if you like watching sex movies, don’t vote for Santorum.

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